A cowboy and an omelette walk into a bar

2021.12.05 18:15 KeckyOK A cowboy and an omelette walk into a bar

The bartender serves the cowboy but ignores the walking, talking omelette even though it's trying to get his attention.
Finally, the omelette turns to the cowboy to complain about the bartender. "Can you believe this guy? He's completely ignoring me! Aren't you gonna do something?"
"Relax," says the cowboy. "I'll order drinks for both of us." He then orders two more drinks, but the bartender cuts him off, and shaking his head says "I know you're buyin' one for that damn omelette, I ain't gonna serve it no drinks."
Perplexed and annoyed, the cowboy asks "Why not? What've you got against omelettes?"
The bartender replies slowly, staring down the omelette with a wry frown, "It ain't got no bizness walkin' into my bar! Last thing I want in here is some drunk omelette dancin' around tellin' jokes n' ruinin' this here cultivated old-west atmosphere! This bar is for cowboys!"
The omelette, apparently offended, says "OH?! Am I not cowboy enough for your stupid old timey bar?" and quickly pulls a revolver on the bartender, cocking the hammer. He nudges the cowboy next to him and says, "You tell 'im, tell this bastard how much of a real cowboy I am! I have the same right to be in here as anyone else!"
The cowboy sighs and grudgingly negotiates the predicament by telling some stories about the omelette; how they had rode through the driest hottest prairies and the coldest snowiest winters together, rassled bears in the mountains and lasso'd bulls in the mud, survived ten-to-one odds against bandits and bedded the finest call girls in Reno.
The bartender, still at gunpoint, apologizes and offers the omelette a drink on the house, promising he won't judge an egg by its shell henceforth.
"That's right, I ain't no joke." says the omelette, putting his gun away. "I'll have a glass of scotch."
"Neat, or on the rocks?" asks the bartender.
The omelette replies "Eggs."
The bartender is silent for a moment, then grumbles and goes into the back kitchen to take two eggs out of the fridge, puts them in the drink and serves it to the omelette. It smiles and raises the glass. "Scotch eggs. Haha.. get it? It's a yolk!"
The cowboy chuckles and leans toward the omelette. "Don't drink that so fast, you can't lay any chicks if you get too scrambled!"
The bartender, now out of earshot and serving one of the regulars, mumbles ".. b'lieve I read the whole thing.. I hate them damn omelettes."
submitted by KeckyOK to Jokes [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 Gluticus Racism towards Asians is okay when they do something wrong

Racism towards Asians is okay when they do something wrong submitted by Gluticus to aznidentity [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 o0Infiniti0o Would it really be that bad if multiclassers were allowed to stack Extra Attack?

Multiclassing into multiple classes that have Extra Attack and going beyond fourth level always feels so bad. You're already missing out on both classes' best, highest-level features and ASIs, so the fact you also miss some low-level features feels awful. You're essentially wasting that level, since you almost never get anything else that level.
Would my players be too powerful if I let them stack Extra Attack while multiclassing? I mean, it's essentially replacing a 20th level feature.
submitted by o0Infiniti0o to dndnext [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 Dry_Concentrate6653 American vs Colombian coke

American vs Colombian coke submitted by Dry_Concentrate6653 to technicallythetruth [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 Drawingonmyown Georgenotfound!

Georgenotfound! submitted by Drawingonmyown to GeorgeNotFound [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 DominusDK Marketing Campaign in Denmark starts tomorrow ?

I remember a post from last month that a huge marketing campaign will start in Denmark from 6th or December (Monday). Is it still in the plans ? I live in Denmark and looking forward to see some Floki around 😍
submitted by DominusDK to Floki [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 Immediate-Flamingo21 The new meta ( Don’t look at yellow stadium I’m xp farming )

The new meta ( Don’t look at yellow stadium I’m xp farming ) submitted by Immediate-Flamingo21 to battles2 [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 kukiandmiki Kuki and Miki animates series

Kuki and Miki animates series Hello dear friend,
We are a young, energetic and animation-loving team that started the production of an animated series called Kuki & Miki for kids since last year.
To continue production of this project, we have decided to have a campaign on Kickstarter and introduce it to all the interested people.
We want to make a fun, exciting and educational series for Kids and now we need your support and help. Thank you.

submitted by kukiandmiki to drawing [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 Less-Researcher5174 cayo b2b hard panther only

psn hidingclips
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2021.12.05 18:15 doraexpolora this is what you guys voted for

this is what you guys voted for
this was when pegachan decided to adopt her lol
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2021.12.05 18:15 nooyork What comes to your mind when you hear the word “death”?

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2021.12.05 18:15 DittoDat Frostwarden Defences Quest?

"Use aether-soaked logs to build a barricade". It's on Coldrunner Key. I've got the logs but I have no idea how to build the barricade...
Any help please?
submitted by DittoDat to dauntless [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 RandomViolin2 Get 15 free euro in bitcoin with the Luno app

Sign up using my invite link and we’ll both receive 15 euro worth of Bitcoin when you deposit money into your Luno wallet and buy or sell Bitcoin to the value of EUR 250 (Luno exchange not included):

  1. Download the app from https://www.luno.com/en/invite/2TPNVT.
  2. Pass the identity verification (took me 2 minutes).
  3. Deposit 250 euro and buy bitcoin; you get the 15 euro reward.
  4. Sell bitcoin and withdraw all.
submitted by RandomViolin2 to ReferToEarn [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 mikeromeo83 Haters to me, I sold all my ADAs and bought CRO

I am far from being a specialist in crypto but as everyone shares their thoughts im going to do the same. The point is. I just got tired of waiting, maybe ADA is a great project, but everything is moving so fast that I cannot see my portfolio dead for months while all the big ones go to the moon, so despite obtaining a 10% profit after 7 months I felt disappointed. So I decided to buy CRO because I think it is the next BNB. That's all folks.
P.S: this is not a financial advice, please don't listen to me or another random dude on internet.
submitted by mikeromeo83 to CryptoCurrency [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 elsenorevil Help a dad out? In over my head here...(UK)

Hello, my son is 9 and has asked for an RC car for Christmas. He specifically wrote down some model he saw on Amazon (UK), it's a BEZGAR brand "Hobbyist" grade model. I'd like to get him something nicer, but not sure where to start. I was looking at some Traxxas models, but it seems you need to have a bunch of additional stuff, which is fine, but I don't know what else I would need to order.
Ideally I'd like to keep it all under £500 for a off-road type RC car. Not sure if this is even possible or if it's even a good idea given he is only 9.
Hoping to get some feedback/advice from people who are more familiar. I remember getting an RC car that ran on AA batteries from RadioShack for X-mas as a kid...it wasn't as fun as I had imagined when I spotted it in the advertisement.
Trying to save my son that disappointment, if possible. The rest of his wish list is books and and small Lego sets, so trying to make his top wish a bad ass one.
Please help!
submitted by elsenorevil to rccars [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 PyxlwasTaken My mothers S20FE screen protector is cracking so much but she has never dropped it, Any clue as to why its so bad?

My mothers S20FE screen protector is cracking so much but she has never dropped it, Any clue as to why its so bad? submitted by PyxlwasTaken to GalaxyS20FE [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 selh December Dawn #5 - With her new best friend

December Dawn #5 - With her new best friend submitted by selh to ChurchofDawn [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 Wingo321 2021 Music City Bowl teams: Who is playing in Nashville on December 30th

2021 Music City Bowl teams: Who is playing in Nashville on December 30th submitted by Wingo321 to purduefootball [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 commanderquill She thinks it's sexy when I share science facts

I paused our show binging (Star Trek! She's never watched it before but she loves it so far) last night to share random science facts. I'm studying biology and she's studying mechanical engineering. Our first date we talked about particle physics, the second we went to an arboretum and I told her all the weirdest shit I knew about plants. A few nights ago I texted her something I had just learned about Mars, and she said she was too tired to really register what I was saying but that she could tell how excited I was and it was sexy. And then last night I started telling her stuff about evolutionary theory, including current theories behind the evolutionary benefits of homosexuality (she's still trying to normalize being gay for herself), and her response was the same. And she listens so well. She genuinely loves it. I don't understand why, but she's one of the first people in my life who doesn't make me feel self-conscious for talking about all the science things I love, and I just. Ahhh. She's wonderful.
submitted by commanderquill to happyrelationships [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 ApprehensiveBridge38 Question about going to prison

When you lose a skill level from hard labor, does that mean you can theoretically level up infinitely? Or are major and minor skills never picked to be deleveled? Sorry if this is a stupid question
submitted by ApprehensiveBridge38 to Morrowind [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 Miserable_Cat5528 All about BM

I suppose I’m relatively new to the whole SFamily thing and what im struggling with most is dealing with the HCBM and how life seems to revolve around her actions and reactions. She’s incredibly manipulative and has complete control over BF access (if she doesn’t get her way about something she will threaten, in a very round about/ clever way, that he can’t see the kids on a given day). He literally has to do everything she wants just to be sure he doesn’t rock the boat and her take away something from him (at the moment it’s the threat of him not seeing them on Xmas eve - but there’s always something). She restricted his access (and he is an amazing dad and it hurt him so much) just to hurt him, until she met a man, suddenly BF could see them as much as he wanted (which is / was fab). Well guess what,the man didn’t work out and she’s back to being controlling. If he calls her out, he’s the one being difficult or arguing and she will say “if we can’t get along then you can’t come over to see the girls on Xmas eve because they can’t be around animosity” but what she really means is, if you don’t let me have my way I will hurt you. Everything revolves around her controlling behaviour. No question, I just need this off my chest to some people that might understand. Does it get easier, do they mellow? Is it always about dancing to their tune? I know there is the legal route but we worry about that because we are advised they almost always side with the mother and it may leave no room for any flexibility for him. He’s one of the best dads I’ve ever seen but that doesn’t always matter.
submitted by Miserable_Cat5528 to stepparents [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 aidenargall Pattern of color change in hamster's fur: Summer to winter!

Pattern of color change in hamster's fur: Summer to winter! submitted by aidenargall to interesting [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 ferris-shaheem4 Before bimbofication

Before bimbofication submitted by ferris-shaheem4 to lauraamyinsta [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 sarahbim8 [PC][early 90s] similar to quest for glory, your dude with a tunic wandering mostly through a desert. Walking to the edge of the screen left, right, or down takes you to the next scene. View was from the side, not top down.

Most scenes looked the same. I think there was an oasis, too, but it was hard to find unless you knew the sequence to get there or else you'd just get lost wandering.
submitted by sarahbim8 to tipofmyjoystick [link] [comments]

2021.12.05 18:15 dsav90 12 weeks progress. Everything you can see has had something done to it. Furniture in this week!

submitted by dsav90 to DIYUK [link] [comments]